plot to overthrow

Today in "Susan's Faith In Humanity": Stocks Plummet

I was born in a small town. (This is not the beginning of a Mellencamp recital. Come back.) I was raised in a small town. I was enrolled in Girl Guides in a small town. I give you this as background material.

Yesterday I was going up the Long Freaking Stairway from Main Street to the Main Street skytrain, when an elderly woman coming down from the top dropped one of her crutches... and it clattered right to my feet. So, thoughtlessly, in my naïve small town way, I snatched it before it could clatter any farther and started up to hand it to her.

"LEAVE IT!!!" she shrieked. "I WANT IT AT THE BOTTOM!!!"

Oh! My mistake. My silly, small town mistake. Of course she wanted it at the bottom. God, how embarrassing.

Well by this point someone else, clearly in the spirit of the thing, had grabbed the crutch from my hand and thrown it even farther up the stairs, before hurtling up after it and escaping entirely sans criticism from the elderly lady. (Although, to be fair, she continued screaming "LEAVE IT!!!" in a voice like gravel-coated sandpaper on helium.) When it came back to her, she snatched it up and THREW it down the stairs. I ducked the hurtling crutch so as not to impede its journey any more than I already had, and continued making my way up. Even so, as I made to pass her, she stopped me again:

"I WANT IT AT THE BOTTOM!!!" she hollered directly into my face.

I feel that when all is said and done, I should be thanking this harpy kind old woman. After all, how else am I to receive the education to amend my naïve small town school of thought?

So in case, by happy coincidence, she stumbles across this entry, I would like to take this moment to say: Thank you, lady. I hope your crutches become animated by some hapless sorcerer's apprentice and BEAT YOU INTO THE GROUND LIKE A NAIL.
plot to overthrow

(no subject)

I am done my math.

I am done (!!) my math.

My math is done. By me. Done. Finished. Completed.

AND BURIED HUZZAH HUZZAH IT'S OVER I WILL NEVER LOOK AT AN ASYMPTOTE AGAIN!!!!!1!

(But really: hee. Asymptote. As in, "This graph looks like asymptote." Hee hee hee.)

*


My computer is slow. Why is my computer slow? I'm glad you asked. My computer is slow because I am copying the other Moulin Rouge CD to it. This is so that it can go home with Ang tomorrow after Shrek 2 which I can SEE OMGOMG!!!1! because I'm DONE MY MATH.

*


The CD has copied. My computer is still slow. Why is my computer still slow? I'm glad you asked. My computer is still slow because I am downloading so. much. stuff. for Ang's CDs which I still have yet to burn for her. They won't be done for tomorrow, but they might be done in time for the moviefest, which I will be attending having DONE MY MATH.

*


All downloads have been called to a halt. Why is this? I'm glad you asked! (*grin à la talkshowhost or usedcarsalesman or infomercialperson*) All downloads have been called to a halt because OMG in the British adverts for MasterCard the tagline is delivered by OMGJACKDAVENPORTOMGLOVE!!!1!and I am frantically searching for pirated copies of said adverts. Frantically. Frantically like a frantic fangirl. That's right.

*


One has never heard French until one has heard French as sung by Rufus Wainwright. That is all.

*


"Plea for KazaaLite" (a triad)
Verse I

What cruel fate doth now control
My KazaaLite and so my soul?
O cruèl wretched and unkind
That my beloved cannot find
Those soft sweet tones of Davenport
(Don't make me click that dumb 'abort'.)

*


Taped and watched MTV awards last night. LOTR hobbitslash = squee! Sean's message to Elijah = squee! JOHNNY DEPP = TEH SQUEEE!

Asylum theme = v. v. disturbing omg.

*


"Plea for KazaaLite" (a triad)
Verse II

Tempting treats you dangle low
Where beady little rat snakes go.
These are not the ads I seek.
Thou art scoundral, scamp, and sneak.
Still I quest through thy foul rule.
(...Star Wars advert? Really? Cool!)

*


I've been friended by an apparently random POTC and HP fan. Rum and huzzah! *waves hello to ciuna on the off chance she has not already regretted her decision and hastily unfriended*

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"Plea for KazaaLite" (a triad)
Verse III

What upon my ears now falls
But my mother's angry calls.
Voice impatient, language grating,
Message loud and unabating...
Not tonight, oh woe and sorrow!
(I'll be back this time tomorrow.)

*


Goes without saying, anyone who can provide me with one of these commercials will be given love and candy and rum. (Order not necessarily proportionate to amount.)

--Kalio


P.S. math = done.
  • Current Music
    Rufus Wainwright: Complainte de la Butte
plot to overthrow

(no subject)

Ang, check your email. You have one (1) Sparrow drabble.

I'm going home now. Must finish math. Must detour by office or McDowell's portable on the way, so as to deliver finally printed-out Short Story Thing. (It might be a story. Then again, it might not. It is twisted and odd and I am not entirely sure where it came from.) Then home, and math, but explaining to Dad why I'm only calling now when it is 2:50 and I have been doing nothing notably constructive for two hours.

When math is over, will be so unspeakably pleased that will not be able to speak of it (ha ha - look, ma, no language skills WHATSOEVER).

I think part of my brain is MIA.

--Kalio
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful dazed
plot to overthrow

My Life as a Sue

How to make a Susan
Ingredients:

5 parts competetiveness

5 parts self-sufficiency

1 part instinct
Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!


Username:


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
How to make a kalio_plaid
Ingredients:

3 parts anger

3 parts crazyiness

1 part empathy
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness


Username:


Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com</font>

The funny thing is, what they say for Susan is just about right for me, and what they say for kalio_plaid is pretty true to how I am online, I think.

Now that I've got that bit of lemming-following out of the way, there's a very very cool meme going around. I got it from tobiascharity.

1. Use fanfiction.net's Search >> Story By Summary and look up your name in either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.

2. If there are any Mary Sues that share your name, pick the worst-sounding one and post the summary.


Okay. So most of the Harry Potter ones were Susan Bones (although they're all Canon Sues...) but I did find a fine specimen of Puella moderna:

Follow the dancing link to fun and happiness!

Sidenote: There were a few Discworld crossovers, and dude, but wouldn't Susan make Teh Best DADA teacher?

Then LOTR. Follow Bouncing Link #2 to joy and enlightenment!

And now I will share with you excerpts and thoughts on both. Collapse )

I think I like the LOTR one.

--Kalio
  • Current Mood
    amused amused
plot to overthrow

Additional quick note:

V. v. v. v. v. pleased to be done with chem final. About as hard as expected. Stoichiometry not so easy after all - or maybe wasn't even stoichiometry. Have doubts.

Think perhaps if am unsure if question stoichio or not, am unprepared for final exam. Think furthermore is too late to do anything about it.

Am, to reiterate, v. v. pleased exam is done.

Now only math left to finish, then SCHOOL OVER AND DONE WITH thank deity of your choice.

--Kalio
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved
plot to overthrow

Quick update before final final, as it were:

Monday was last day of classes - I AM NO LONGER GROUNDED

Tuesday was Sc.Hum final - neither as long nor as difficult as feared, think I got a B

Wednesday was Spanish final - even easier than anticipated, which is saying something

7 minutes from now is chem final - am worried, but studied and think will do okay. Stoichiometry good. Naming good. Components of matter also good. Organic chemistry a bitch.

Must now print out thing for McDowell to hand in to office after exam.

--Kalio
  • Current Music
    Rufus Wainwright: Hallelujah