|How to make a Susan|
5 parts competetiveness
5 parts self-sufficiency
1 part instinct
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!
|How to make a kalio_plaid|
3 parts anger
3 parts crazyiness
1 part empathy
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of lustfulness
The funny thing is, what they say for Susan is just about right for me, and what they say for kalio_plaid is pretty true to how I am online, I think.
Now that I've got that bit of lemming-following out of the way, there's a very very cool meme going around. I got it from tobiascharity.
1. Use fanfiction.net's Search >> Story By Summary and look up your name in either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.
2. If there are any Mary Sues that share your name, pick the worst-sounding one and post the summary.
Okay. So most of the Harry Potter ones were Susan Bones (although they're all Canon Sues...) but I did find a fine specimen of Puella moderna:
Follow the dancing link to fun and happiness!
Sidenote: There were a few Discworld crossovers, and dude, but wouldn't Susan make Teh Best DADA teacher?
Then LOTR. Follow Bouncing Link #2 to joy and enlightenment!
And now I will share with you excerpts and thoughts on both.
Doubletake #1: "Well now, if its not my two favorite Muggles!" Fred Weasley grinned and entered the train followed by what seemed like a mirror, but was only his brother Fred.
Doubletake #2: Susan and Cassie sat next to eachother at teh RavenClaw table, anxiously awaiting the Sorting.
She actually used 'teh'. I am overjoyed.
In chapter 14 Susan gets to kneel next to Oliver, but that doesn't quite make up for the eye strain caused by trying to read chapters composed of ONE PARAGRAPH goddamnit. Also, spelling? Bad. Grammar? Bad. Basic language skills? Pretty damn bad... And it looks like Oliver was a fake Oliver anyway. Oh wait, no, that was Cedric. I think. Hmm.
Yes, I'm a Sue, but I rock. I do. I have total impatience with tents! I have equal impatience with my parents! I even have mostly good grammar and spelling! Go me.
From chapter 2: As she cut through the woods, another streak of lightning illuminated the area around her. To her left, the tent. To her right, a cave which would provide some shelter . . . maybe. She stopped in her tracks. Susan twisted her head in both directions, desperately trying to make a quick decision. She hated making quick decisions.
“I’m in a Choose Your Own Adventure book, I swear,” Susan grumbled.
[See what I mean? Sue the Sue has certain traces of me in her, doesn't she? Isn't that
Also: Susan Blackweld, in a moment of true stupidity, had slipped on a rock right next to a small crevasse. As she fell, her last thought before hitting bottom was: Crap.
I think I like the LOTR one.
today's forecast is: amused