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the Fly By Night: latest editions with special guests so last month your host past tense past tense
Today in "Susan's Faith In Humanity": Stocks Plummet - Fly, By Night. (A Still Life)
tempting the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing
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kalio_plaid
Today in "Susan's Faith In Humanity": Stocks Plummet
I was born in a small town. (This is not the beginning of a Mellencamp recital. Come back.) I was raised in a small town. I was enrolled in Girl Guides in a small town. I give you this as background material.

Yesterday I was going up the Long Freaking Stairway from Main Street to the Main Street skytrain, when an elderly woman coming down from the top dropped one of her crutches... and it clattered right to my feet. So, thoughtlessly, in my naïve small town way, I snatched it before it could clatter any farther and started up to hand it to her.

"LEAVE IT!!!" she shrieked. "I WANT IT AT THE BOTTOM!!!"

Oh! My mistake. My silly, small town mistake. Of course she wanted it at the bottom. God, how embarrassing.

Well by this point someone else, clearly in the spirit of the thing, had grabbed the crutch from my hand and thrown it even farther up the stairs, before hurtling up after it and escaping entirely sans criticism from the elderly lady. (Although, to be fair, she continued screaming "LEAVE IT!!!" in a voice like gravel-coated sandpaper on helium.) When it came back to her, she snatched it up and THREW it down the stairs. I ducked the hurtling crutch so as not to impede its journey any more than I already had, and continued making my way up. Even so, as I made to pass her, she stopped me again:

"I WANT IT AT THE BOTTOM!!!" she hollered directly into my face.

I feel that when all is said and done, I should be thanking this harpy kind old woman. After all, how else am I to receive the education to amend my naïve small town school of thought?

So in case, by happy coincidence, she stumbles across this entry, I would like to take this moment to say: Thank you, lady. I hope your crutches become animated by some hapless sorcerer's apprentice and BEAT YOU INTO THE GROUND LIKE A NAIL.

Tags:
today's forecast is: cynical cynical

beelzebub has 7 devils put aside for me ... will you do the fandango?
Comments
tealeagle From: tealeagle Date: March 22nd, 2006 01:06 am (UTC) (Link)
i, too, would have tried to return the crutch to it's old harpy owner. it's called trying to be nice, and *gasp* helpful?!?!?! some people just don't appreciate nice people like yourself.
nobleplatypus From: nobleplatypus Date: March 22nd, 2006 02:38 am (UTC) (Link)
O_o

So you have people who bitch and moan that teenagers don't have manners. But then you have people who seem to find manners personally offensive. -_- For what it's worth, I would have done the same thing. I think most people would have tried to give her the damn crutch back.
skittle_cake From: skittle_cake Date: March 22nd, 2006 03:46 am (UTC) (Link)
A short story, for Susan to read/blatantly ignore:

Once there was a girl, whom we will call Betty. Betty was a bit of a dreamer: always had been. She dreamed of traveling, seeing the world. But one fateful day, one of her friends asked her where she wanted to be living in twenty years. She closed her eyes and replied, "Right here."
Now, this friend of Betty's decided that Betty was certifiably crazy. Why would anyone stay in a place like Chilliwack? This friend, coincidentally, happens to be Betty's polar opposite. She needs to be displaced, and as soon as she graduates she'll probably head for Italy or France or even Mexico, as long as it's far away from where she grew up.
But our protagonist, Betty, knows that she's different. She was born in a small town. She can breathe in a small town. And she'll probably, one day, die in a small town, just like John Cougar Mellancamp, without the money or the hit songs. Her heart lies in a small town.
It's just the way we are, honey.
jumpinglegacy From: jumpinglegacy Date: March 22nd, 2006 04:25 am (UTC) (Link)
That's exactly how I feel. I am in love with Chilliwack and small towns like it. Every day I am astounded by the beauty around us... a half hour drive to Harrison, where the water is so beautifully blue... a ten minute drive to cultus, where one can dive in at the crack of dawn into a warm, still, breathtakingly gorgeous lake. A five minute drive to the fraser river trail, where one can dangle their toes in the water, frolick with their dogs on the banks, and spot eagles, herons, and even a horseback rider now and then. And simply a look out the window to a gorgeous mountain view, with snowy peaks contrasting against the bright sky. It is so amazing to live here, I can't imagine living anywhere else.
From: theanomaly Date: March 26th, 2006 10:49 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hehehe.

Now, given she wanted it at the bottom, you should have taken it down there...

... and then lobbed it halfway down the next block. >:)
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beelzebub has 7 devils put aside for me ... will you do the fandango?